Episode 125: The 7 Mistakes of Making an Ask and How to Fix Them

Welcome to another edition of "Around with Randall" your weekly podcast for making your nonprofit more effective for your community. And here is your host the CEO and founder of Hallett Philanthropy, Randall Hallett.

It's a pleasure to have you here with me today on another edition of "Around with Randall". And of course I'm Randall. We delve back into some of the tactical issues of philanthropy, in particular, that of a gift officer. And I think this applies to annual giving, planned giving, major gifts, all kinds of the people that are out in the community. No matter what level of gift you're engaged or trying to get you're out there talking with people. And the subject today is the seven great mistakes, at least in my opinion, of making an ask and closing.

What I find is that we find two separate groups of gift officers. Ones that are incredibly hesitant for those entry-level calls, entry-level conversations introduction qualification and so they struggle to get into the relationship. Then there are those that I think really understand how to get through the reluctance and the hesitancy of those initial calls, and get into the cultivation period, and aren't sure how to get to an ask. And so it becomes an ongoing evolution of cultivation. More and more, I'm seeing this group of people, and this is really what we're talking about today. How do you get into an ask and do it correctly?

You can go back into the podcast. There are five different podcasts from probably a year ago that are just as relevant today about the five steps of moves management from metrics to qualification to cultivation to asking, closing, and stewardship, each one about 20 minutes, that have great details of each one of those steps. But today I just want to talk about one specific aspect in that closing paradigm. So what are these seven different challenges that we deal with? let me cover them in high level and then I'm going to get into each one individually and that becomes the tactical. what is it you can do to help yourself or help your organization?

Number one is the idea of how to build relationships, to get to the ask, and doing it in a one-on-one or in-person basis. Number two is not getting to their philanthropic interests more quickly. Number three is not asking for a specific purpose and then using some language on the back side to get to a dollar amount. Number four is not being upfront and honest as to what we're doing in the beginning, in the cultivation, and in the ask. Number five is not staying silent. Number six is not having partners in this process with you that can help you. And number seven is really not controlling the closing aspects, and I will define the difference between asking and closing in that last, I think, major challenge that we deal with in our jobs.

So let's start at the top, the personalization of the relationship. I think that during the incredibly trying times of the pandemic that many gift officers I've had the privilege of working with did an outstanding job of using zoom and informal, what we considered at least to be informal, communications, check-ins on a really positive basis. And really they became the norm and necessary because we were quarantined for a great deal of time. But as we've come out of the pandemic and it has to be appropriate for the person both as the gift officer and the prospector donor, getting back in front of people at least at some level is quintessential to the idea of building what's thought of as rapport.

Rapport is what builds trust, and I think that it's harder to do via Zoom. So if you're watching this podcast, as an example, although it's not interactive on YouTube you can see me but I'm not sure I'm developing a lot of rapport with you. I think I'm developing information and content that might be helpful. But do we really have a relationship? And I think that even if you add an interactive piece to telephone calls and zoom calls, which I think can be used during the process should be used, but you have to have some personal relationship with people. Particularly if you're asking larger dollar figures. Don't forget that there's kind of two steps to trust at least the way I've always looked at it. One is, does the organization or does the donor have a trust in your organization, your mission. Do you do as an organization what you say you do to help whatever it is you're trying to to make a difference with. But I think sometimes we underestimate the trust that comes from the individual gift officer.

I had a client here recently that I'm doing a very interesting project with about capacity, building one-on-one with a lot of their very very high-end donors. And one of the people I spoke to indicated, well I really hadn't given to this charity or this nonprofit but a gift officer moved and they called me and said here's what I'm doing, would you like to know more about what I've moved to. They closed a major seven figure gift in a few months because of the trust that was built with that particular gift officer. And now they're taking that donor and bringing them into the organization to show that value. Getting in front of people is important. I am not here to say we should bust our budgets. If you're in Wisconsin, Minnesota, certainly the upper eastern seaboard and just go live in Florida or Texas or Palm Springs or Phoenix, wherever you have snowbirds but you still got to get in front of people so building a relationship face-to-face is important. You can read people's body language. You can read as the energy shifts. You can figure out who and what they're trying to get to, probably a little bit easier than you can via phone or Zoom. And don't forget others are doing this. And so if you're not in some way, shape, or form, whether it's distance or local, you're probably allowing other people to walk in the door on your donors that might maximize their giving for you. So building personal relationship's still important in our industry. Doing so meaningfully, using various techniques can be done. But getting in front of someone face to face, there's just not no way to replace it.

Number two is to getting to that philanthropic interest more quickly. That will get you to that ask. I like to think of it as a two-step process. It's like a tango. One, two you have to get to their general interest first. The general interest would be, do they support education, do they support capital projects, do they support endowments, do they support healthcare versus education. Because if you don't qualify them in that area the ask becomes really hard. Tell my favorite story. I was working with a, when I was still a practitioner, with someone who was a grateful patient. Had the conversation with them, was kind of leading towards where their area of service was, which happened to be oncology. And the conversation wasn't going well. I knew that because I was personally in front of them and finally because I'd known them for a long time they reached over and said, would you like some help. The answer was sure. And she just told me you're not asking what interests me. You're talking about what interests you. General area, it turned out that she was concerned about her recent grandson's diagnosis of juvenile diabetes, and her cancer wasn't that important to her philanthropically. That's a big difference in the relationship-building process.

So the first thing is what is it generally they're interested in? And then you begin to take the second step, which is the specific. What is it that they want to invest in? What is it they want to change? What are they willing to see? Be a difference-maker. Maybe that's cancer research? That's very specific. Maybe it's programmatic outreach. In today's kind of crazy economic world maybe it's basic substance. I have a client who has a Food Bank inside their hospital. I think it's genius. They spend and they're beginning to figure out they're spending more and more time talking with community members about food insecurity and how that's a determinant of health. They're finding a lot of people who want to give them money to make sure that food bank is full so patients and families can leave with food. That's going to help their health care, one. General second specific how do you then figure out exactly what is going to maximize that gift which will make your ask a lot easier. The third is not asking for a specific purpose.

What has happened with a couple of major donors in the last maybe a couple years with announcements of enormous unrestricted gifts. In fact, I just did a podcast on a couple who's giving towards a million dollars per week so 52 weeks, 52 million dollars to smaller nonprofits. The only restriction is its endowment, but how they spend that endowment on an annual five or seven percent distribution. Whatever it is is up to them. Those are amazing gifts. I think about what Mrs. Scott's doing in terms of giving billions away, just unrestricted. I wish we all had that experience. But what I know is from my clients and kind of the 25 years of doing this, most larger donors kind of want to know what they're giving to. So you're going to have to hone in on that one two-step process about getting to something specific. What is the money going to do? What are the outcomes? How are we going to measure it? How are we going to get back to you and let you know that this is actually happening?

If you can get those unrestricted gifts, great. Get them. Take them. Use them make your organization stronger. But to maximize giving you're going to have to have something specific, and I'm finding that's even kind of going down into $2,500, $5,000. $7,500 asks. Is it going to be used for a scholarship? It may not be specific to solve this individual problem because the numbers aren't big enough. But they're still asking questions. It's going to go to scholarship. Is it going to go to, you know, some type of of programmatic, how many other donors do I need or do we need at $5,000 to get to a result that can be meaningful, meaning do we need to find nine other donors at $5,000 to get to a $50,000 impact. There's a lot in play here.

People are becoming more sophisticated, and as the number of donors diminishes as we've talked about numerous times both in person and on this podcast, we have to get more sophisticated with the ones who are willing to give. And they're asking questions. So number four is asking for a specific purpose, asking what about asking for a specific dollar on lower gift areas or numbers like $2,500, $5,000, even $10,000 maybe even to $25,000. What I find is that you should also then ask for a specific dollar amount. What are you hoping for and expecting with larger donations? I actually have a much different philosophy. You back into this meaning you set it up like we're trying to accomplish this. It costs $10 million, maybe it's a programmatic increase or maybe you're adding on to a facility or something. But the cost is somewhat known, and you back into it by saying where do you see yourself in this? How do you see yourself being engaged? What kind of impact would you like to make? And what I have found is a lot of times the donor will lead with a number, gosh I think we could do a million dollars. Well that's terrific. Could I ask you to consider looking at $2.5 million and maybe we structure it differently, payment period, pledge payments over a couple of years. Maybe we blend the gift and bring in your estate. How can we help you maximize the impact? But I back into it by getting to what the cost and the implications are, and the outcomes, and then when they see that cost trying to figure out where they fit into that. So lower end might be more specific with a dollar figure. Higher end I'm trying to maximize the giving potential.

Number four is not cutting to the chase. I spend a lot of time talking about qualification and you might say well wait a minute we're talking about asking and closing. In this case they're linked specifically. Too many times we're not specific enough to say particularly in the qualifying and cultivation stages. Hey my job is to help shepherd people through a giving process, and I've so enjoyed the opportunity to get to know you. I'd love the opportunity to get you to a point where I could ask you to support our organization in a meaningful way. This is probably less important for leadership, annual giving, or corporate sponsorships because you just ask. But this is what leads to the, a never-ending cycle of cultivation because they view the relationship with you in one way and you're viewing the relationship slightly different. Our job if we're out soliciting and building relationships and engaging community is to come back to what I started with. Solicit, eventually so in the qualifying stage I'm here to eventually possibly ask you for money because my job is to find support for the organization. The physician, the professor, the school, the particular individual school, law school, business school, whatever that's my job.

What I have found, and I was uncomfortable with this more often when I was younger, is if you use that clarity on the front side it makes the asking a lot easier because they know what's coming. It also allows those who aren't interested to tell you up front so that you don't waste your time. So when we think about qualification and cultivation it's a constant not over the top reminder. I'm here to do a job and that's to find people that are willing to support our organization. Is that something we can talk about?

Worked with a gift officer, she was the best I ever saw. She could do this on the phone. She's one of the few people I've ever seen. I can't do it on the phone she would tell them on the phone. And she was doing with very high-end people my job is to find people that are willing to support the organization for $100,000 or more. Is that something you might be interested in talking about? It was so blunt but her closing rates were unbelievable because she got it done on the front side. So not cutting to the chase all through the process. By the way that also includes getting to that ask and knowing, I gotta ask using a soft ask, which we'll talk about here in a second. I would also say there's a term I've heard recently which I kind of like, zombie proposals is that there's so many proposals in a gift officer's portfolio that's because they're not able to get to the point of saying I'd like to ask you for a gift, can I bring you a proposal. And so it's in there but they can't get it over the hurdle.

Number five is a simple concept, but sales teaches us, you've probably heard this a million different times, when you ask keep your mouth shut. The longer the silence the more likely the gift. I'd like to give you this proposal for a $500,000. We've talked about it going to support this particular endowment because it means a lot to you. You've asked that it be laid out in a three-year pledge period of a $133,000 basically dollars per year. It is on paper I want you to look at it and tell me your thoughts. And at that point I don't say another word and if it takes 50 minutes, 50 seconds to a minute or a minute and a half you wait. Even if it's uncomfortable and we're going to have talk about having someone else in the room with you, here as number six, if you're working with someone you got to tell them the same thing. First one to talk loses. This applies to a $2,500 gift. Last year you supported our golf tournament we were so appreciative, it made such a difference, can we count on you again this year for $2,500 in support of the golf tournament? Silence. First one to talk loses. So number five stay quiet.

Number six is having the support and the people in the room that you need. The larger the gift you ask particularly if you're a gift officer, you might be the master of the chess board but the bigger the gift the more you need a CEO, a board chair, a key board member, a campaign committee chair, someone with some influence that can help guide that conversation a little bit. Which means you need them in the room when this happens. I just did a major I ask actually ironically as I said this before via Zoom because it was the only way we could make it work with the multiple people and we wanted to make sure that the person who was going to really push them to think about this was present. Now that means some prep work and that may mean you have to explain to the volunteer or the CEO you really don't have to physically ask but when I ask you need to add this is critical, we need you. It's like you're setting them up for success. So practice and prep goes along with it. The other thing is that's on our side, who on their side needs to be in the room? I mentioned this project where I'm engaging in capacity growth for a client and she kept talking about, as a business owner, that her CFO in the company was critical to these decisions and my word back to the nonprofit was if you don't have the CFO in the room, more important than her husband, then this is not going to happen because she mentioned his endorsement as critical to this process. So both sides of the table theirs and yours who needs to be in the room to help you influence and for them to feel comfortable.

Number seven is recognizing control of the close. And you will hear me say often there is a difference and I said earlier in the podcast a difference between asking and closing. Asking is putting something in front of them, closing is getting either a verbal affirmation that they're going to make the gift $2,500 $5,000 a thousand, whatever or in writing above $10,000 or $25,000, whatever your gift policies and auditor says required from a written commitment. If you're not walking back in the door with that commitment in writing then you don't have a gift. What you have is a great intention. And the key here is to control if you hand someone that $500,000 example we did a second ago $133,000 through the endowment per year for three years if you don't say if they say yes you know this sounds really great I want to look at a couple things. If you don't bring that on the back side to say great how long do you need? Can I get a hold of you in a week or ten days, or they say gosh this sounds great. I need to bring my wife into it. Great. How can I set up a meeting for the two of you to let her ask me questions or ask us questions. You need to ensure that you are doing the next steps which are all about getting that gift closed, and that's why to me closing and asking are actually different things. So make sure that you are not allowing a lot of time from the ask to the follow-up. If they don't sign the documents, don't allow a lot of time - 10 days, two weeks what do we have to do to get this done. I want to make sure you can enjoy the value of this gift from the perspective of how you're helping people. Can we set something up in 10 days? I'm doing it right there, got my calendar, got my phone, when are you available. Can we get your wife involved? I've actually said gosh it sounds like your wife's important can we get her on the phone and see what her schedule sounds like? iI you allow too much time other things come into play and the longer that time is the more likely they are to actually turn you down, even if it sounded like they were were a positive in terms of what might be possible. Close those gifts by controlling the closing time as much as you can. Don't be afraid to be just a little bit respectfully pushy on that timeline.

Seven major hiccups, challenges, issues with asking and closing. I'm hoping today gives you a little confidence. Some of the language, some of the thoughts to allow you gonna to overcome these. If it's an issue for you or an issue in your office, very tactical today, but really important as we're building relationships with the people in our community that want and need to make a difference. The question is are you going to allow them to make a difference with your nonprofit and through your nonprofit into the community?

Don't forget to check out the blogs - 90 second reads at Hallettphilanthropy.com. RRS feed. You can get them right into your inbox so to speak, just 90 seconds. Give you something to think about in going on in the world of the non-profit, also in terms of leadership and what's going on there. And don't forget if you want to reach out to me that's podcast@hallettphilanthropy.com if you have a question, want to make a recommendation on topic, love to have it. Don't forget what you do is critically important. It means a lot. It's changing the world. You are shepherding people, partnering with people through the mission of your nonprofit most likely for them to come in and change something, which leads us to my favorite saying. Some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, then there are those who wondered what happened. People who want to make a difference, want to change to close that thought process, are people who are making things happen for the people and things that are wondering what happened and that is an incredibly worthy pursuit for you and your nonprofit. I hope today was helpful. Give you some thoughts on getting a little bit more in the door so you can do the things your mission talks about because you believe in it and you make a difference. Don't ever forget that either. I look forward to seeing you next time right back here on "Around with Randall". Make it a great day!