Episode 207: Thanksgiving for Trust and Faith - Realizing your Impact on Others
Welcome to another edition of Around with Randall, your weekly podcast for making your nonprofit more effective for your community. Here is your host, the CEO and founder of Hallett Philanthropy, Randall Hallett.
I can't thank you enough for taking a few minutes of your time, especially this week, joining me, Randall, on this edition of Around with Randall. As we release this particular podcast during Thanksgiving week, I’ve spent time each year talking about gratitude. This is because I truly believe in its power. Gratitude has such a profound effect on one's life—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually—that we often underestimate its importance.
Today, as a nod to Thanksgiving, I want to discuss the main reasons people express gratitude and reflect on my own. According to the Greater Good Science Center at Berkeley, there are many aspects of life for which people feel thankful. First and foremost is health and physical well-being. Over the past few years, especially with the pandemic, there’s been an increased appreciation for mental well-being as well. People tend to value these aspects when they are present in their lives.
The second is supportive relationships, which I’ll delve into later with a personal story. Third is the opportunity for growth and learning. I’ve always believed in lifelong learning. As a child, I naturally gravitated toward learning and absorbing new information. Even today, I’m constantly reading, listening to podcasts, and challenging myself to grow. I hope you’re doing the same because growth is integral to what this podcast and my consulting work are all about.
Number four is the natural surroundings and environment. As an Omaha native, I love being here with my family. However, the Rocky Mountains—especially Rocky Mountain National Park—hold a special place in my heart. They offer me peace and a sense of grandeur. I hope you, too, have a place in nature that brings you a similar sense of gratitude.
Number five is freedom and autonomy. I think we often take this for granted. Recently, we voted. Regardless of political perspectives, we should appreciate the freedom associated with that act. My father, a decorated war hero, believed deeply in the idea of freedom. While the Vietnam War may not be central to our nation's freedom as historians see it, those who served—like my grandparents in World War II—risked their lives for our ability to vote. This freedom is not universal, and we should cherish it.
Access to basic needs and comforts is another key area for gratitude. In earlier episodes, I’ve discussed Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It emphasizes how baseline needs—like food, shelter, and safety—must be met before we can achieve higher levels of self-confidence and purpose. We often take these basic needs for granted, but they are fundamental to our well-being.
Moments of joy and beauty rank high as well. I’ve become more aware of these moments through my children. Their laughter and smiles bring me immense joy and highlight the importance of appreciating life's simple pleasures. Financial stability is another factor. Studies, such as one from Princeton in 2010, show that having a certain income level—adjusted for inflation, about $85,000 to $90,000 today—provides happiness by covering basic needs. Beyond that, increases in happiness are incremental.
Memories and past experiences also shape our gratitude. As I get older, I reflect more on earlier moments in my life and their significance. Finally, a sense of purpose and meaning stands out. For me, my purpose is rooted in my roles as a son, husband, father, and brother. These roles bring deep value and fulfillment to my life.
I skipped over one category—supportive relationships—because I want to end with it. My life begins and ends each day with the peace I find alongside my wife, but that’s not the main focus here. Earlier this month, I attended the International Conference for the Association for Healthcare Philanthropy. At the conference, I had a booth, and something remarkable happened. Many people approached me to share how they had listened to the podcast, read my book, or attended my speaking engagements. They expressed how these experiences provided value, both professionally and personally.
I was absolutely blown away. I was at times kind of taken aback, not because of any of the quality of the work that I produced, not because of anything that maybe I've said or done, but I've always believed that my greatest calling professionally was to help one person. Early on in my life, I wasn't sure who that person was and as I'm almost 30 years into this, I'm not sure I know who it is now, but it wasn't to help a lot of people. It wasn't to elevate my name into lights. It wasn't to make a big impact on the greater good. It was to help one person who wasn't in my family. That was always my career goal.
As people came up to me and thanked me for what I had done, for what I have contributed, for what I am doing, I realized that maybe it's more than just one. Thanksgiving and the idea of gratitude center around trust and faith and those relationships. And this time, it's not trust and faith in others, but that I am privileged, privileged that some one person or maybe a couple have faith and trust in me. That was more than I ever aspired to.
I see this now in various ways. I had a couple of weeks to think about it. My clients provide me—some of whom I've had the absolute pleasure and privilege of serving. And I view my consultancy that way. I'm serving them. Some of them are for almost a decade now. So they must believe that maybe I have something to offer, which is humbling.
I think about the people that I don't even know at that conference. People that came up and said, "I listen," and they could name a podcast. I just stood there in awe and thought, "I just ramble on for 20 minutes each week, probably a lot like today." And yet people thought it had value. One person came up and indicated that the book changed the way in which they view their entire leadership model when it comes to healthcare and how they engage their CEO. And I thought, "Wow, is that a low bar if you're using my book? Is that the standard?"
All of those are moments that I really took in, not because of wanting to elevate them, or I'm not putting them on LinkedIn. But I want to capture those moments as a way of realizing what kind of gratitude I should have and need to have and realize that it's important. For people who have faith and trust in me professionally.
Another that came out of this was the realization of the unbelievable joy that I have, even though the sorrow that surrounds it, over the last 18 months with my mother. I've always had a tremendous relationship with my mother, a deep, meaningful relationship. But when Dad passed, being six blocks away—not that it's any more or less than my amazing and talented sisters—but I've had a chance to develop an individual relationship with my mother, and that she trusts me. She asks my opinion on things, most of which I think she's beyond capable of handling. But she believes I have something to offer her.
When that role switches from child to guidance, there is a sense of gratification that comes. And I always tell her when she says, "You're so helpful." I'm like, "Mom, I was brought up by the best. I don't know any other way of doing it." That's great gratitude—that someone who you've looked up to your whole life turns around and asks your opinion about some pretty important things.
I would also say that my children, which is kind of interesting because I have a very fervent belief of parenting that I share with my beautiful wife, that we promote the idea of democracy. We don't practice it. We're not voting as to what the kids want. They're 11 and 8. They're going to do what they're told. They get older though. They have more opinions, and they should.
There is an interesting dynamic that occurs because you want them to be safe and have the right inputs to be successful, but they have the ability to begin to have their own opinions. It's interesting, just as a sidelight, that the opinions come a lot earlier with the girls than with the boys. Even though they're three years apart, girls are a lot more engaged.
This is all to say that there is this give and take when it comes to power and trust. How much power do I have over them versus how much do I trust them to experience their own life? And more importantly, the gratitude that I have is that trust piece—what they have in me as a dad. Do they trust that I have their best interest at heart? Do they trust that I love them? These are things that don't have any tangible evidence, which young people need. They live by the world in which they believe, the world in which they can see and touch. But yet my children seem to think that I might have something to offer them. And it's probably smart not to take that for granted and be grateful for it.
The last is probably the most profound, and I tend to talk about her more than she probably realizes, is the unbelievable gratitude I have for my wife. Not for bearing children, although that's an amazing experience in itself. Not for anything that we do physically, but for the faith she puts in me. She's still here. She believes we're better—as do I—as a group, a couple, and an entity than we are isolated and independent. The one that—the two adding the two parts together—is so much more than the individual parts that come with them.
When you find that kind of connection, it's hard to describe the peace that comes every day when you know that there is a center point in your life. And I'm grateful that she trusts me. I'm grateful that she believes I have something to offer, that she's willing to listen and put up with my hyperbole, and that at the end of the day when it's all said and done—at 10, 11 o'clock, usually a little bit later for me—that I look upon her and think my day was better because she was a part of it, and it was better because she trusted me to be a part of hers.
I am appreciative of this Thanksgiving more so than most in terms of realization, in the trust and faith people have put in me, which does two things. Number one makes me shake my head and wonder, are you all crazy? But also at the same time, makes me realize how blessed I am.
And that's what Thanksgiving really should all be about. And I'm hopeful today, as you listen to this drivel, that it gives you a chance to think about the things you're appreciative of. What do you value? What are you trying to accomplish? Who do you need to thank? Who do you need to realize has made an impact? Because at the end of the day, those are the things that are most important.
It's not the destination that makes any difference. It's the journey along the way and, most importantly, the people that are a part of it. Let me say how appreciative I am for you, for the time you spend—either this edition or any edition—with Around with Randall. I wish you and yours the very best. And I hope you find a little opportunity to review the thought process of what gratitude you have for those in your world.
We'll see you next time, right back here on the next edition of Around with Randall. And don't forget, make it a great Thanksgiving Day.