Episode 181: The Questions in Relationship Development - When Soliciting and Closing Gifts (4 of 5)
The fourth in a five-part special series in relationship development, we look at soliciting and closing gifts. Be it annual giving or a major gift, plan gift, principal gift, any type of communication, individual relationships. These are the questions you need to be prepared to answer as you move through the process.
Welcome to another edition of Around with Randall, your weekly podcast for making your nonprofit more effective for your community. And here is your host, the CEO and founder of Hallett Philanthropy, Randall Hallett.
It's great to have you back. Joining me, Randall, on this edition of Around with Randall. Today we venture into part four of five when we talk about the great questions of relationship development. And we focus today on the combined aspects of soliciting and closing. And when we get to the end, you'll see kind of why I distinguish between the two because one without the other could be a problem. In the series, we're looking at the big questions within the moves management process. How do you develop relationships? And these questions are meant to help whether it's an annual giving or a major gift, plan gift, principle gift, any type of communication, individual relationships could even be corporation and foundations. The questions you need to be prepared to answer as you move through this process. So where do we start?
Well, we have to start with one of the common facts of what we do. This is amongst, along with qualification calling, one of the more challenging or most challenging aspects of what we do in our profession. People don't like to ask people for money. And I think I need to be honest that I really truly believe when done well, we really don't ask for people for money. In many ways, what we're doing is offering invitations for people to join us. And in doing so, it may feel like a solicitation, but it really is that offer if we've done this correctly and we'll talk about these steps today and or questions that get us to the point where we move over the top of the hill towards that solicitation to a yes, maybe you know, down the hill for the knowledge of what actually is our next step where we supposed to go next. And so five of the six questions that we have today are based, excuse me, four of the five questions based today are on the solicitation side. The last one is the closing, which we'll get to at the end.
So let's start at the top as we enter into this phase of the relationship process. The first question I think it's important to think about a note, are you asking into logic or emotion? What is the ask the invitation really based upon? And I don't the word that I used and tried to emphasize is into I'm not asking about what you or if you are the donor, the person maybe facilitating the gift officer, the process. I'm asking about what is it you're trying to lean into when you ask somebody for support making that offer? There's a really important understanding of the human brain that comes into this part of the conversation. A famous neurologist once said when you ask somebody for some type of conclusion, you get bought when you ask somebody to to engage that gets you into emotion. We tend to make to make it easy on ourselves, make solicitations, engage in the solicitation, offer someone's ability to engage with us into logic, into conclusion because it's simpler. But what we tend to get is simpler to ask. What we tend to get is not the answers we're looking for.
All of the gifts that I have had the unbelievable privilege of shepherding and I've been involved with billions of dollars of gifts in and out of organizations that I've represented in the now into consulting is probably bigger than that. None of that is a credit to me as gift officers, as relationship builders, as facilitators of a process, we're not the ones doing the giving. We are just opening doors, windows, whatever else we can to give people the opportunity to support us. All of those gifts so that I have been involved with plan giving major gifts, principal gifts, when it becomes as we've talked about before in the last episode with cultivation, transformational, not a dollar figure, but where it's emotional engagement. The gifts at the largest end are all about emotion. Yes, there's a logical component to how it's done and things of that nature. We'll get into that in a few minutes. But the decision is based on emotion. They feel something.
Maybe it's, we take health care, gratitude toward a particular caregiver or team of caregivers who shepherded them or a family member through a challenge situation. If it's education, they look back and realize the value that's provided them or they had such tremendous experiences in that four, three, five, seven year process. Maybe it's emotion that is about, I can't believe how fortunate I am in life and I feel like I need to do something for somebody else. That's possibly a tie to a name. Think about the scholarship fund that I started with my sisters in the name of my parents. It's important to me because of who they are and the way in which they've made my life possible. There's emotion in those decisions. Those are, when you talk about education, health care, social service, got to help somebody else who maybe is homeless or recently here in Omaha, we had seven tornadoes touched down, a couple of them, almost a mile wide. You have people in this community whose homes and lives have been just totally taken apart. I'm emotionally tied to wanting to help them and see my community be better.
People's engagement at the highest levels are about emotion. And so we go back to the question, if you're pitching this conversation around logic, you may get an answer, you may get conclusion, but you're not going to get the gift that could be transformation. This emotion that drives people to action at the highest level. Think about the difference in how you would deal with the situation if there were a health episode, if it were your child at age seven versus a stranger in the grocery store, not that you wouldn't do certain things, but the emotion of the moment is more tied to your daughter or son who's seven because you do anything for them. An emotional decision of how you would engage is no different when you make a decision on how you would film, through, or somebody or an organization. It's because that emotion elevates it, brings it upward towards imports. If you would spend more time thinking about it, and I would say for me as well, when I deal with clients and when they ask me to help them with their particular donors, think more about that emotional content, we'd see larger gifts. People would maximize what's possible. So question number one in the solicitation process, one of five is, are you asking into logic or emotion?
Number two, have you soft asked into the solicitation? And this is something that we do not use as a soft ask as a technique enough. A soft ask is nothing more than letting the person you're dealing with know what you would like to do next and you're finding out if it's okay. You're getting a blessing. The best example of soft asking, in philanthropy actually came during the pandemic because of the changing nature of the world, health concerns, unsure factors of a whole lot of things in our crazy day to day lives when that happened. The best relationship builders, fundraisers, we're asking soft asked questions, probing question, not about money, but about the relationship. Who do we meet in a park and have a cup of coffee? Would that be okay? Can I come by the house and sit outside and talk with you? Are you okay as we moved along in the pandemic to go to an open-air restaurant and sit and have a cup of coffee or lunch and judge us for like the catch up? What is it that you need that you're not getting that maybe I could be helpful with to make sure you feel like you're not alone?
All of these kind of thoughts were about how do I keep the relationship moving and because of the forced health nature we were using soft ask questions to probe what was appropriate? Why aren't we doing the same when it comes to philanthropy? And the fundraising, the solicitation, I'd like to if you've cultivated well go back and listen to the last one on the questions regarding cultivation. Would it be okay if I brought you a proposal that had the following elements based on all of our conversations would that be okay? It's almost like there are sub elements. Can I bring you a proposal so that they're not surprised? It's at this dollar amount based on what you told me here's some of the parameters. What you begin to do is you're allowing them to control the actions of the relationship giving them comfort control when people believe they have it and they do it adds to a very positive outcome. Not just in philanthropy or solicitation, but just in life.
When people feel like they lose control they generally aren't that content, happy, relaxed, they're on edge. I think about when I go through security with TSA, I've never had any bad issues, people are generally pretty nice, they're trying to do their job, but you literally lose all control of any elements of anything. You literally have to do almost anything they say and you lose that ability for self-control. The same is true when someone's being asked for money. The soft ask allows us to bring down the concern, the level of discontent, the giving them control. Saying, here's what I'd like to do is that okay with you, absolutely. Or well that's close, but what about this? Right, brings you to a point where you allow them to drive you where they want to go.
Second question, are you soft asking or have you soft asked your way into a solicitation? Number three, do you have a complete proposal? So let me start with a little bit of a variant here, the word proposal. If over a certain dollar figure, 10,000, 25,000, some organizations is 5,000, auditors get involved and I actually agree with them on this, that there should be some kind of a written form of a gift, a gift agreement. I would posit the easiest way to get to the gift agreement, which we're going to talk about in a moment is to use a proposal. Now if you're an annual fund leadership annual giving person, you're not doing proposals at a thousand dollars, but the contents of the proposal don't need to change that much just because it isn't in a fancy folder, isn't in a 10-page PowerPoint or a document, that's really well done. There are certain elements of the proposal that make the solicitation process easier.
Let's talk about a few of those elements. I think first and foremost is who is it that we're talking about, who's in the proposal, name, spouse's name, their address, their kids. You want to make it feel personal. It's really important. Secondly, is a brief description of what it is that you're asking them to invest in, why it's important, and the impact. You can do that in two pages, five pages, 10 pages, a paragraph, a few bullet points, but something that tells them this is what it is that we think based on what you've told us and the impact you can have. Third is a dollar amount. If you think it's going to be a problem because they're going to be worried about the dollar amount and how that's dealt with, this is when you soft ask your way into, I'd like to come by, drop it off, have coffee, or I'm going to send you this proposal electronically and in there is going to be a gift agreement for $50,000. Let's go to the next one which is what are the terms and conditions? This is the how part. When will we be asking for those dollars? When would they like to do it? This is the same question we should be asking them. This allows them to control the elements of the gift. Are there certain naming opportunities? Are there certain designations within the gift that they feel strongly about? Are there any conditions in the use of the funds? The gift agreement follows the proposal. The gift agreement should be almost exactly what's in the proposal just a little more legally like the language is tighter. This is a discussion about a proposal that I think most of us would say $50,000 or more a proposal makes sense. This also can be done for smaller amounts just using the components and we have to have some structure so that we know how and when they're going to make this investment. You also could have what we call an easy card which would be just a fill-in card of how to make a payment and also some other options about how to deal with it. Those are the basics of what makes a great proposal. And if you do them well you use them in solicitation. This is where the soft ask should tell them exactly what's in the proposal so they don't get to a point where they're feeling uncomfortable when they see a proposal.
Question number three, do you have a complete proposal ready? Number four, question number four, have you made this about them? Think about the conversation we've had up until this point. I believe when solicitations fail or at least don't maximize potential it's because we're making it about ourselves. Here's a great way to think about it. Listen to the pronouns you use. It's about me, we, us, I. It's about them, their, you, your. Listen to those pronouns. If you're using your we, we, I, me, you're not making it about the donor. They're going to respond in a negative way. If it's you, your, theirs, they, you're talking about them. The other side of the equation is, and I mentioned this early on in my work with organizations as a gift officer, the money they're giving isn't ours. The money they're giving is their investment in their values and their money. We just happen to be the facilitators. One of the big things I've learned about facilitation, and when you don't own something but you're involved, the words you use, the pronouns in particular, are critically important. The psychology of those pronouns will tell you, and it takes practice, and I was really bad at this early on, that I got better because I practiced it. I learned to write out the words I wanted to use. It's about them and not us or me or we.
Finally, we turn to closing. You've done all of these things. You've done a great job of answering questions one through four, but how do you get a final decision? This is the art. And as much as we've talked about science and questions, there is an art form here. You have to be able to read the room. So when you ask this question, this is the way I would ask it, and it's always worked for me, and that doesn't mean it'll work for you, but maybe it's a starting point. I've given you this proposal. We've had lots of conversations. I'm hopeful that it's what you expected. I would like to ask for you to consider making this investment of $50,000 over the next three years, or would you like to make this investment of $50,000 over the next three years?
I've given them an out. If you notice, I didn't just stop. People need to process and give them time. Silence is incredibly valuable, maybe not immediately, but in a moment. If they don't respond, I'm going to give them an out. This is about making them feel comfortable. I don't know how they got to this point. If they don't respond right away, they need time to think about it. It's not uncommon. Here's the art part of it. We have to find a way to make it okay. How much time would you like to consider this opportunity? I have to be patient, but I need to understand their position. It's about them, not me. I will say, would it be okay if I followed up with you at the end of the week? I'm trying to facilitate the conversation and make them feel comfortable. The closing process is an art because you have to be able to read the room. If you don't have that sense, it comes with practice, patience, and being okay with things going well, not so well. I've done that a lot, and I'm okay with failure. Every time you do this, you learn something. If you get the gift, fantastic. If you don't, what did I miss? Go back to those questions. Did I do all those things right? If I didn't, I should know that for the next time.
These are the questions you should ask as you move towards solicitation and closing.
So let's review them. Are you asking into logic or emotion? Have you soft asked your way into the solicitation? Do you have a complete proposal ready? Have you made this about them? The closing process, are you prepared to handle the response? This is about the basics and understanding of what you have to do. Your preparation, as we've talked about over four now episodes, really is what allows this to be successful. How have you done? What are you doing? How do you make sure that you cover all of these things? All of the solicitations I've been involved in, these questions have been the bedrock. So I hope they will be for you as well.
So the last in the series of five will be next time, and that is stewardship. A lot of organizations don't do that well, and it creates huge problems. If you can make sure you steward properly, you'll build relationships in perpetuity. We thank you for joining us here on Around with Randall. If you want to get a hold of me, feel free to do so on Twitter or Instagram @HallettPhilanthropy. You can email me at podcast@hallettphilanthropy.com. If you want to do something different, check out my book, 21 Tips for Highly Successful Fundraisers. It's on Amazon. It's an e-book. It allows you to do some of these things, maybe not in this order, but gives you some food for thought. Don't forget, make it about the donor. The donor's the one making the decision. The donor's the one that we have to be prepared to engage with. And remember, some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. Then there are those who wondered what happened. We're here to make things happen for ourselves and our donors. That's the positive impact of what we do. I appreciate all that you do for your communities. I look forward to seeing you next time here on Around with Randall. Don't forget, make it a great day.