The Value of Trust
Our 10-year-old son doesn’t like loud noises. They bother him for the moment and then have an effect for hours or even a few days. This has been true since he was little and didn’t want to flush the toilet….”too loud” he would say.
Recently, our fire alarm system in the house malfunctioned, with a sensor going offline. That triggered the alarm. And triggered our son. It was several days before he got back to his normal self. But in that time, I (and his amazing mother) spent extra time around him…closer to him. Especially at night. My part was to lay in bed and watch old Nebraska football games until he fell asleep (normally, he would just roll over and ZZZZZZZZ). But in these moments of slight mental instability, there was the greatest gift to a dad….trust.
Our son would just lay next to me, with his head on my shoulder, and watch the appointed game on my phone. And each night, he would say thank you for laying there with him, making him feel better. I responded the same way each night. “No son, thank you.”
Trust is such an important element of relationships. My son’s trust in his mother and myself allowed him to relax and not worry about any possible loud noise. And while it is crazy to truly compare a parent-child relationship to a donor-charity nonprofit one, the trust element is there.
Recently, several prominent educational nonprofits have been the focus of public attention….and for the most part, not for the good. No matter which “side” of the argument you come down on, what no one can deny is that trust has been ripped away from these educational institutions of grandeur.
Donors have pulled out of gifts. Board members resigned. Applications for admission are down some 20%. All of these are based on a lack of trust.
Mom always said that trust is like a building….the higher it gets, the more trust lives within each floor. But, in the same vein, if trust is lost, it is like cutting the building off at the third floor and whatever floors above that fall to the ground….and thus a shorter building/less trust. The problem is that it takes years to build a floor, so the relationship, like the floors being rebuilt, takes lots of time to recapture its height.
No one is above needing trust. No person. No relationship. No organization. And when we give that trust away (and that is truly the only way it disappears…you can NOT take trust from something or someone….someone has to give it up), it hurts everyone associated. Words matter. Actions matter more. Sometimes, I think we forget this.
My son reminded me of that for the past several weeks. He needed me (and his mother) and that trust that is part of his DNA as our child….and our love. I am so grateful for it and don’t want to give it away for anything.
