The Value of Self-Improvement Over Competition
The spring soccer season is upon us, which finds me coaching my kids teams again. As they get older, while doing incredibly well from a win-loss perspective, I find my focus increasingly on the idea of self-development and self-comparison. And while I am an ultra-competitive individual (wanting to win constantly), the value for a bunch of 10-year-old boys who will never play professional soccer isn't in the wins and losses, but in what they learn about themselves.
Self-improvement is fundamentally about personal growth. It's a journey that involves enhancing one's own skills, knowledge, and awareness without the external pressure of outpacing someone else. This approach allows individuals to set their own pace, assess their strengths and weaknesses honestly, and pursue goals that are genuinely meaningful to them. Unlike competition, which often leads to stress and anxiety, focusing on self-improvement cultivates a mindset of continuous learning and self-discovery.
And when we shift our focus from competing against others to bettering ourselves, we lay the groundwork for more sustainable success. Competition can drive short-term achievements and spur us on to meet specific challenges, but it doesn't always encourage the deep, foundational development that long-term success requires. Self-improvement, on the other hand, builds resilience and adaptability—qualities that are crucial in an ever-changing world.
Also, and especially at 10 years of age, competing constantly with others can take a toll on mental and emotional well-being. It often leads to comparisons that diminish self-esteem and distract from personal values and pursuits. Self-improvement prioritizes personal well-being by encouraging individuals to look inward and focus on what truly makes them feel fulfilled and happy. This not only improves mental health but also increases overall life satisfaction.
As you can imagine, with a bunch of 10-year-olds, everyone is at a COMPLETELY different place in skill and mental development. My job is to realize that every individual has unique talents and perspectives to offer. When the focus is on competing, these unique qualities can be overshadowed by the drive to conform to what is deemed successful by comparison to others or wins/losses. Self-improvement encourages people to develop their unique traits---and allows that lack-luster “skilled” soccer player to feel as if they are “awesome” because they improved on something that lots of others have mastered…which doesn’t matter when they feel good about their growth.
While competition has its place in motivating individuals, the benefits of focusing on self-improvement are far-reaching. My job as coach is to encourage unique contributions. And is there anything better than the smile on a kid’s face who realizes they have accomplished something…something they can be proud of…
