Don’t Ever Think Kids (and others) Aren’t Watching
I try to spend as much time with my kids as I can. Playing catch in the backyard, coloring and drawing pictures, coaching their teams, and just laying on the couch watching a game or a movie are some of my most prized moments. But as my kids get a little older, I don't want to ever forget what they see is probably much more important than what they hear.
Two recent experiences caused me to think about this issue in a much deeper sense. The first was a few weeks ago when I came home from work and found my wife standing at the top of the stairs chuckling. Of course, I inquired as to what was going on. All she said was, “This one is on you.”
Our son, playing out on the playground during school, was upset about something in the soccer game that occupied recess time. And he said in his frustration “Damn.” Immediately, one of the teachers out monitoring the kids called him over and said that he can't say that. And upon hearing the story from my wife, she was right in that this one was on me.
I am not a swearer. I don't use the really bad four-letter words that often. But when my beloved Nebraska Cornhuskers screw up another football game, I will utter the term “Damn.” And even though we work with our kids about the language they use, they don't miss much when the example doesn't follow along with the verbalized lesson of not swearing.
Then there was the soccer game last weekend. Somehow, some way, we are undefeated. And as the coach, I deserve no credit. Ted Lasso knows more about soccer than I do. Nevertheless, we're in the final few minutes of a scoreless tie with the other undefeated team. More to the positive this time, I don't view this coaching adventure as a massive achievement for me. Thus, winning and losing aren't all that important at this stage of my life. I'm incredibly positive with the kids. I find it easy. And while loud and trying to be helpful, there's not much of a negative word that comes out of my mouth. And then I witnessed the kids doing the exact same thing with their teammates on the field. Positive reinforcement. Supportive. Encouraging. I'm not sure the result is because of this, but there was utter joy when we scored the only goal of the game with less than 30 seconds left to remain undefeated.
All of this is to say what you do is more important than what you say. It's a simple old adage that most people wouldn't argue with. But I've witnessed recently how important it is to remember---and maybe something for you to remember too.
